B-Toads Update

Day 3: Last night I played through the Elevator Shaft and on into the Gargantuan Ducts...where I promptly withered and died. I had been playing a decent but not stellar game, and this fact may have helped.  Forward progress in the game is becoming increasingly based on memorization 

I was confused on this point but now I feel sure: I have never seen the level beyond this one. This means I'm back at my 12-year old ability level after three days of playing.  Onward!

Also--check this out:

http://www.battletoadsmovie.com/

Must be fake, right?

Join Me in My (Eventual) TRIUMPH!

Dear NightMarchers,

I really want to keep you updated as to what's going on in my life these days.  Something really quite big has come up:

Check it!

When my friend forwarded this to me, I went through a range of emotions.  Naturally, I immediately called the rankings of "Most Difficult VideoGame Ever" into question.  I mean...it was total popularity contest, with no mention of such ridiculously difficult games (from my own experience) such as Kid Chameleon, Gauntlet, Snake Rattle and Roll, or Hudson's Adventure Island.  But these arguments are a trifle, and we all know it.  Once my initial ire had calmed,  I immediately knew what my path would be.  Spurred on by this far-from-definitive Internet list, I set my sights on the game in the top spot.  Lucky for me, it was one I knew well and still owned in its original format.  If you made it through the video, you know I am referring to Battletoads for NES.

Each level is like a different game.  You only get three measly continues.  The Wikipedia article even acknowledges how tough the damn game is.

A little background on my relationship with the Toads of Battle:  like many games I've played and/or owned I've always harbored a lust to conquer it completely, and I've made several earnest attempts throughout the years to do so (alas, in vain!).  Even while my brain was disputing it's newly given rank of "most difficult" I knew from experience that it was, at the very least, extremely difficult and therefore worth my renewed attention and vigor.  In addition to that, I was already well-trained in the nuances of the game, so I wouldn't be starting from scratch at all, simply building on an already impressive skill set.  Furthermore, when I've "re-attacked" these old games in my "adult" life, I like to think that my general skills have improved and that my age and experience has produced a sort of "wisdom" that allows me to reach my goals a bit easier.  Unlike my life-defining experience with Snake Rattle and Roll in 2003 (a game that was made impossible to beat without a simultaneously playing partner) Battletoads, while having a two player option, is actually (appearing to be) significantly easier with one player.  With no liege to train, I begin.

Day 1 (Sunday):

Played for a couple hours, where it was quickly determined that a. 2-players simultaneous is significantly more difficult to manage (reasons of friendly fire primarily) and b. James is not nearly as well-versed in the game after several attempts as I am at baseline.

Achieved level 6 (Snake level) fairly easily but this presented the first significant hurdle.

Conquered and moved on to the Fire Pit area, and subsequently the Elevator Shaft.  Got stuck there.

Day 2 (Monday):  Blew through all previously defeated levels, made it to the Elevator Shaft (level 8) with multiple lives and zero continues wasted.  I got all the way to the boss and blew it.  I was so disgusted with myself and did not wish to continue the game.  Must remember to be watchful for this phenomenon.  In retrospect, I should have played through my allotted continues for the practice.

I will keep you updated on my progress so that you may share in this wonder of Nintendo prowess and/or marvel at my life's lack of significance in this arena.

rob 

Where Did the Time Go?

Dear Future Celebrities,

Having plumbed the depths of description for The Chop's everyday life and times, I've decided to delve a bit deeper and start looking at the root causes and themes recurrent in The Chop mythology. Here I refer (quite pretentiously) to video games.

Video games were always a huge part of all our lives. But there's a few in particular that I myself played incessantly: for hours, days, months, and in some cases years on end. These select few games got played into the ground, forever imprinting themselves on my (and in most cases our) collective psyche, and will now be discussed in a segment I'm calling "Where Did The Time Go?"

Installment 1: Street Fighter II: The World Warrior


Street Fighter II  changed my life. There is absolutely no denying this fact. I was probably about 10 or 11 when a console got installed into my local foodery, and Street Fighter II entered my life. The Newport, DE 7-11 (which comes up a lot in Chop lore) is a 20 minute walk from my parents house.  This walk, which is easily and often made, became all the more appealing with roll of quarters in my fist and the promise of hand to hand (or in this case hand to button) competitive fighting.  I played a lot of this game.

The appreciation of video games, particularly those that are chronologically and graphically outdated, is something all Chop brothers share.  There's something about when a game, or more accurately a style of game, hits the crest of a wave and reaches a golden moment of perfect form.  For one-on-one fighting games, Street Fighter II was this moment.  I seized this moment (as well as thousands of other moments) to stand in front of this machine and play the shit out of this game.

The premise of the game is simple.  Fighters from around the world fly in private jets to fight each other on Russian factory floors, in the crowded streets of Hong Kong, or in the large private bathrooms of the Japanese aristocracy.  The gameplay is also pretty straightforward: 3 kick options and 3 punch options and really only a small number of combinational moves somehow translated to (seemingly) limitless hours of entertainment.  This was a game where the natural inclination to mash buttons was rewarded in spades, but to chalk up SFII as a "button masher" is not doing it justice.  It was just sophisticated enough to capture the nation's minds and just universal enough to simultaneously set our hearts aflame!  All this led directly me to play the living crap out of this game.

The Stats:

Favorite character:  although I eventually migrated over to using Chun-Li, I gotta go with Blanka on this.  His ferocity and overall yellowness wins out.

Total amount of time squandered/cherished: At least a full week's worth of my life

Readiness to take on a new challenger:  Super-fucking ready (bring it!)